We are chatting a lot with nothing much to say

 

“Mazha undo avide?” (Malayalam for "Is it raining there?")

This question, asked without any genuine interest or reason, is a filler in most Malayali telephonic exchanges. It changes slightly with seasons: mazha replaced by choodu (heat), thanuppu (cold) and what not. A recent favourite is "Entha corona vishesham avide?” (What’s the latest on corona there?)

Others in the genre are “Pinne enthokkeya?” and “vere enthundu”, both meaning “What else?”, evoking the anodyne “Ingane ponu” (Going on as usual) response.

The moment these questions are asked, you know the dialogue has emptied out and could end anytime now. They indicate boredom and some level of impatience.

In recent times, these questions have begun to spring up much earlier than usual. Calls and video chats are, thus, getting shorter on average. The reason: The frequency of calls (to the same person) has increased, thanks to technology and cheaper data charges.

In the mid-1990s, mom used to call us on the landline from Kuwait once a month. Today, living in Thane, I often chat with people in Kuwait, London, Bahrain, and Kerala simultaneously -- every day.

Result: There is only so much you have got to say to individuals. Most of it has already been conveyed over WhatsApp. Calling over the phone is now more of a boring formality (A video chat may still carry some flavour, with its novelty yet to wear off).

The ease of communication has led to a paucity of content, thanks to mindless overuse.

Besides, it is also killing nostalgia. Fewer memories are being formed and retained as precious. Because there is no real separation, the glue that builds memories.

Take a class of school students, for instance. Till some 20 years ago, graduating meant most classmates are unlikely to meet for a long time and some never again. That gave our brain space to build an aura around old chums, switch on the mind’s sepia mode after a while, and indulge in the mythification of our pasts (Trust me. Most great things from our past were never really that great. We puffed them up to feel good about ourselves).

That doesn’t happen anymore. We are all only a message/call away -- often annoyingly enough. Chat groups have absolutely destroyed the process of nostalgia creation. Worse, they have even destroyed the treasures of the pre-internet generations’ mindscapes by pooling the old-timers back into reality.

So today, we chat, we don’t converse. We share random info, philosophical memes, and reactions (sometimes extreme and mostly miscommunicated) with each other -- and quickly forget. We don’t take time to internalise.

What we need is less chatting and more shared real experiences. Only those will revive conversations -- and nostalgia.